Academics-R-Us

The further I walk along the hallowed halls, the more I become aware that Academe is a world unto itself. We joke that the more degrees one accrues, the longer one's an academic, the more socially inept we become until finally the only people who can bear to spend time with you are other academics (and those people who remember what you were like before and keep hoping you'll come back to the "real world"). We have entirely different sets of vocabulary from many of those around us, which are of course dependent on which disciplines we identify with. I have seriously forgotten basic words I used to use in conversation, instead substituting words with far more syllables and loaded meanings. I would give an example, but I really don't remember what those missing words are until I find myself tongue-tied over them. It's bad enough that we can no longer think of the simple words to use, but there are those who forgo that whole process of drawing on existing words and instead make up their own: obscurantist, demythologization, grammaticalized, complexification, disambiguate... really? c'mon here, people - the least we can do is try to fit in!
Friends and I were talking the other night about the difference between conversations with friends in and outside of academia. The topics we discuss and the ways we discuss them are entirely different. I'm still learning how to navigate this minefield - forgetting the everyday words for things doesn't help. I dropped the term "discourse" on some unsuspecting soul the other day because I couldn't think of "talk" soon enough, only to spend the next 10 minutes trying to explain the term and subsequently correct their misinterpretation. (Perhaps I'm not such a good teacher after all!) I've found the word that sends people running or their hackles rising fastedr than any other is "feminist." It gives a whole new meaning to the term "f-bomb"; talk about a conversation stopper! My family figured out I am one, and now it apparently means I devalue everything the women in my family have done since the dawn of time because many of them did not work full time outside of the home. They often bear with me and feign excitement on my behalf as I try to explain the latest obscure and critically-themed research project I've started. I really must give them credit, because I know many academics who couldn't care less, even when they already know and use the theories and references I'm throwing out left and right.
"Academe" often seems a nameless faceless mass into which I gradually become more and more embedded as the diplomas on the wall multiply and my CV lengthens. Other times, the human element of it becomes starkly obvious. That there are larger social, economic, political, and physical structures supporting The Academy is a given, but within these frameworks scurry the literal flesh and blood and minds that make it what it is. We scamper down the halls with keys, full mugs of tea, books, notes, computers, sanity, lives and workloads precariously balanced. And sometimes a tipping point comes and we have a moment of clarity. From it comes the next great idea, the realization that the last one really wasn't so great, the reassurance that I CAN do this, the constant fear that you can't... whatever it is, it is the most human part of academia, the vital part. Some times this human element makes itself known in the profoundly supportive relationships among cohorts and friends, but at others it is the ugly green viper of jealousy, often unacknowledged. How does one admit to being frustrated by and jealous of what a friend has accomplished, when you know you should happy for them? It takes a big person to recognize this for what it is, accept it, and move on, all while trying to deal with the monumental pile of small stresses that we accumulate through everyday. Those things on our to-do lists often sound so inconsequential, but they add up quickly - read, write, research, check references, check email, write identity statement, teach, grade, attend meeting, attend meeting, attend meeting, class, class, more class, call family, make travel plans for conference, check email, prepare presentation, go to conference, make up work for missed classes while at conference, exercise, read outside sources for extra research project, go to dentist, take car in, do laundry, eat, grocery shopping, plan conference, reading, reading, reading, writing, research, find committee members, check email, office hours, sleep(?)...
I am a firm advocate for mental health days. I've found that when I get too much on my plate I just stop doing anything that I am supposed to. I may be found at a movie (or several!), parking along the side of the road and walking off, or leaving town just because. Whatever it is, I won't be doing the things I know I am "supposed" to be doing. I skip half my reading for a week or two, I pull a last-minute all-nighter to get that (first-draft!) paper in on time, I don't take the notes I'm supposed to be, all knowing it will bite me in the arse later, but that to preserve my sanity I wouldn't have it any other way right now. My present-self is not very nice to my future-self sometimes, but I think it's often because I want to remember that my past-self had a life once upon a time. I work very hard to maintain a semblance of life outside of the halls - now if only I could remember how the people there speak.






A note for you grammar nit-pickers out there: I recognize that I am switching tenses willy-nilly and hither and thither, but it's all in the name of trying to use gender neutral pronouns, so YES I am considering "they" appropriate to use in the singular. I can even provide references to support my claim if you need them... ;)