It would appear I'm not so hot on keeping up with this whole blog thing. The idea was to write just for the sake of it, but I find I don't know what to write about much of the time. All of the fleeting ephemeral thoughts aren't willing to settle long enough to congeal into a paragraph or two. My larger concern is whether said congealed mass would be in the slightest bit interesting, even to myself, once recorded.
I find myself in one of those phases in which I'm convinced there is something more worthwhile I could be doing with my life, but with no idea what that is. I found a fulbright scholarship for a 5 or 10 month teaching and reserach stint in Oman, which would be an amazing opportunity. Unfortunately, my degrees have no bearing on skills others find useful or are seeking. So without some very liberal and creative CV writing, there's not much of a chance of getting it. Not sure how I'll finangle the reference letters supporting such a creative CV either.... won't stop me from trying, though!
I really want a day at home for myself. I'm such a geek - I really want to play in the garden and reorganize my book cases. Yup, I said it - ridiculous, eh? I had forgotten how tiring and stressful two jobs is, even when neither is full time. The restaurant is so draining, probably because I've known it's not where I want to be for so many years at this point. Granted, there are a good number of positive aspects to it, the greatest being that it's the place I actually get exposure to non-academic friends. It's such a different world. Which is a problem sometimes, because I feel like a different person there - one who is a hypocrite compared to my academic self. I don't have the confidence at climbing to go out and seek new people to know down that avenue, and it's much harder (at least for me) to trust someone off the bat to climb with them. So it goes.
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I know how you feel, I often feel this way when I go long periods without writing. But remember, for the purpose of writing, especially with the idea of writing for the sake of writing; it doesn't matter whether it's "interesting" or not. It won't always be colorful and exciting, but it IS expressing yourself and that's important. Try freewriting! Be well :)
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