Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

The girl (I say 'girl', because she is - she can't be older than 13 or so) next to me on the bus is applying eyeliner while we're in motion. That does not seem safe, especially considering the stop and start nature of this bus ride. I'm concerned that the next time I see her she will be wearing an eye patch. Eyeliner pencils should come with warning labels. So should things like eyelash curlers, mascara wands, and various other implements of feminine beauty – they all look like torture devices.

Is it a sign of a civilized society when we (pretend to) choose uncomfortable standards of attractiveness? My reference to 'civilized' should of course be taken with a grain of salt,as it often seems those societies deemed most civilized are also those that are most oppressive to groups deemed “not them.” The idea of who counts as civilized is also generally,unfortunately, conflated with who is Western. More specifically, who are white, heterosexual, man, and western.

I think I disagree with my own question. Although many of the current beauty trends of the western world involve discomfort (a particular level of thinness, beauty products, cosmetic procedures, high heels, neckties, male circumcision), I also must take into consideration such practices as neck rings in Burma, labret stretching in parts of Africa, and bodily scarring in areas around the world, among others. (Although not for beauty pruposes, I don't think it fair to include scarring practices by nonwestern groups without including the physical scarring that western groups have inflicted upon others).

Without a doubt one must also include female circumcision on this list, as it is still deemed a desirable trait for women in many parts of the world. I'm not sure whether people would classify China as a civilized society at the time or not (I would, but as they are not western, I think others may disagree), but the former tradition of foot binding definitely qualifies as uncomfortable!

I would also argue that the western beauty practices I listed above involve a level of both physical and emotional discomfort. How does one feel when s/he cannot achieve the idealized/expected/enforced/preferred standard? I will never be a Rockette – in addition to not being able to dance or maintain a can-can line with precision, I do not have the correct proportions. Although being a Rockette has never been my life's ambition, I sympathize with those wo/men who did, do, will want it and can't have it.

There are so many more practices from both western and nonwestern traditions that I have not mentioned, and indeed do not even know about. Indeed, the few examples here are not even the tip of the iceberg, but are instead extreme examples of a system of practices that we often unwittingly conform to every day. Not all of them apply to women, I should note, but it appears that on the whole, women's bodies are interfered with far more regularly than men's in the name of what is desirable.